Saturday, 6 February 2016
How not to be a dickhead
I'm been told I'm a nice person, quite a often, now that I think about it. I'm always surprised when people say it, not because I don't think I'm a nice person, but because I've always just assumed everyone is nice, this is stupid and naive of me but its just what I assume about people. This is obviously a lie, there are horrible people out there, doing and saying horrible things. As a designated nice person, I thought I'd give out some tips on how to be nice, or in other words, how not to be a dick-head.
1) Shut the hell up.
If you're one of those people that talk too much, even the most polite person will find it annoying. You're probably talking about yourself, sorry to say but no one is nearly as interesting as they think they are. This is a particularity dick-head thing to do when you've just met someone. I asked how your day was, not for your life story.
2) Noise pollution
You may be obsessed with that new techno/hip hop shit that your mate mixed in his home made garage studio, but I can tell you now, the rest of the bus are not. Use headphones, you are not cool, you are an inconsiderate dick-head.
3) Clean up after yourself
If you live with other people, they may not tell you that you're a slob to your face, but they'll be thinking it. Don't leave dishes towering in the sink, clothes all over the floor or spill things and not clean them up. They are your friends/flatmates/family - not your free, personal servants.
4) Show up on time
I have many friends that are never on time. It still boggles my mind that they can get to work with time to spare but will turn up to an event 2 hours late. This is most annoying if the waiting person is in cold weather/wearing heels/has other important things to get done that day. Plan your journeys properly, give yourself more than enough time to get ready, let people know that you'll be late at the very least.
Also known as giving unwanted sexual attention to random strangers on the street. We are just trying to get from A to B, don't rememeber asking for you to shout to the whole street about how hot I am. Its not flattering, its annoying and objectifying. Fuck. Off.
6) Not getting up for those in need
I've seen this too often, mostly on the bus. Its usually loud Secondary school kids sitting right at the front, ignoring the elderly or less able to walk fellow commuters who need those seats. Once, a bus driver refused to set off unless someone moved from the front so an old man with a cane could sit down. Fucking appalling, get up, if you can run for the bus you can stand in it too.
If you've not heard this term, its pretty self-explanatory. Someone will have sex with multiple people, other people will talk badly about this person for having sex. Oh I'm sorry, I wasn't aware you had the right to tell me what to do with my body? If someone wants to have sex, with lots of people, and is doing it in a safe way for all involved then they are doing nothing wrong. Don't spew malicious bullshit about people because you're too afraid to be a confident, sexual being. Its not 'banter' is being a dick-head.
And I'm not talking about calling someone out for their negative/inappropriate behaviour, that's constructive, that's different. I'm talking about those people who bitch about others for small, trivial things to make themselves feel better. This is basically what bullies do to make themselves feel superior and important, its childish, unnecessary, and self-destructive.
These are just some of the tips, but I could carry on writing this all day! If you recognize any of these signs in your friends then exorcise them from your life, are you maybe in love with a dick-head? Ummm... show them this post and hope for the best, people can change, honest! ;)